Bleeding Mascara (paincausedscars) wrote,
Bleeding Mascara

I miss my mom. I wish there was something else I could say. But there isn't. I miss her so much everyday and it really sucks. I just want to pick up the phone and call her, but I can't. I still call her cell phone voice mail to hear her voice. What am I going to do now? I love my mom so much and now she's gone. I just want her back, but I know I can't have her back. I can't even live in my house anymore. It's just too hard. She passed away at home, where she wanted to be. Its just hard now to walk in there and know shes not there. I miss my mom. God, I really do. I'm very happy that she waited until my birthday, so she could spend a little bit of it with me. But I miss her. I still cry myself to sleep at night because i can't be at my house with her. I just want all this pain to go away. I took care of her and helped her and I really thought she was going to get better. This is all too much for a 19year old to handle. First, my great uncle on January 10th, then my grandma on January 23rd, and then the most important person in my life, my mommy on March 9th, my birthday. I don't really know how I should look at that. But I miss my mom. I really want to talk to her again. I know I can't, and I know shes with me all the time, but I miss her..She's always in my heart though..and I know nothing will ever change that, and I know there wont be a day that goes by that i dont think of her. Hopefully, I'll adjust in time and it wont hurt so bad. But for now...I'm holding on to every memory in my heart...

I know you're gone, but I still feel you here...
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